Be polite to polite people. Be cuttingly, bitingly polite to rude people. Avoid violent people, but be prepared for violence if avoidance is not an option.
Approach each encounter offering the best . . . but be ready for the worst. The rule, after initial encounter, is reciprocity, tit for tat. When asymmetry appears inevitable, defend, be prepared even to destroy. Anything else risks encouraging the worst behaviors.
We train strangers and even our enemies. As well as our friends.
Some might say this is what it means ‘to be a man.’ But I am unclear how this would not apply to women.
twv
Wirkman Comment 